While I was working on my MFA I had to share feedback with fellow students and mentors. That is, of course, a huge part of the program. I generally feel ambivalent about it. When I feel people haven’t understood what I meant I struggle to slow myself down and listen carefully to their comments. It ranges from difficult to exhausting. […]
My last day at CAIR is July 24. Next week and the week after I’m working 20 hours a week. In other words, day job is winding down and I’m going back to freelancing. I have so much to say about all this, and have to be writing regularly anyway. There’s a week left of Ramadan, so my transition to the new life is a little low-key at the moment but I’ll be out the gate full force after the eid. I thought I’d grace this brief post by paying homage to Dave Matthews.
I can’t believe myself. It has been so difficult for me to get serious about finishing my thesis. Every time I get going I let something stop me. A couple nights ago I finally buckled down and stayed up till 1 am or so working on the section that I will submit TOMORROW for the anthology compiled of all graduating students’ work. The next day I was sick all day. I actually went home from the office. I think it was partly the apnea that has plagued me since I gained weight, but it also just felt like I can’t handle pressuring myself anymore. It’s like being out of shape (which I am). I didn’t feel well the next day either, and today I actually had a fever. Maybe they’re not all connected. I feel like I’m not up to the stress of “cramming” like I was when I was in college, which was actually in 2002. Yes, I got my bachelor’s degree at the age of 41. While I completed it I worked two jobs. I had energy for everything, although one significant difference was that I had classes with syllabi and homework and grades, whereas the MFA is all on my own. I have to get in shape – in every way, including writing. My next deadline is tomorrow, when I must email the excerpt for the anthology. I am trying to follow the advice I’ve read about […]
I am writing this with my back to my iMac using my wireless keyboard, my feet up on my bed and my mind unclouded by anything on the computer screen that might distract me – I hope. I love to write. I have (almost) two masters degrees in writing. Everything over the past decade has pointed me in the direction […]
Eventually I will return to being a writer. This time I won’t be a depressed and mopey cookie-eater. I have to make it my career, or if not a career – what’s one step down from a career? Like a vocation? Or is it not a career if you don’t make much money doing it? Whatever I do I have to do it with purpose and gusto and planning. One of these days it’s going to happen – and soon.